


the fic of the day is "Coffee Shop"

by valleyedprism



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Meet-Cute, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7305373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valleyedprism/pseuds/valleyedprism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I haven't met someone who complained about the oversaturation of the market yet</p>
            </blockquote>





	the fic of the day is "Coffee Shop"

"Goddammit. Goddammit. God. Dammit." Karkat mumbles loudly under his breath as the coffee continues to drip softly onto the floor. Sollux was supposed to fix the stupid fucking tray this morning, and for that matter the drip, but no, too busy off with his stupid awful girlfriend to do any real work. Karkat sighs and tosses another wadded paper towel onto the pile and leans on the counter. Shitty job, shitty pay, shitty life.  
At least there's a few good looking customers once in a while.

Finally succumbing to the bore of mid afternoon slow in the coffee shop, Karkat plods unceremoniously outside with a piece of the awful cherry colored chalk Terezi brought in for the message board, wipes said board off with his apron, and scribbles hurriedly on the matte surface. If Kanaya wants to fight him for kiddy-swearing on the message board she can take it up with his luscious, kissable rear-fucking-end.  
He takes a step back, nods and heads inside for the 9-5 workers to be off and head in for their super-stupid shit coffee with frills and lace and a double pump of fuck the barista I'm important. 

When 4:45 rolls around, Karkat sees the first of his regulars scoff at the eloquent description of the bartend on duty posted just out of doors. She walks in with a smile, pays for her green tea and blueberry muffin and offers Karkat valuable words of encouragment:  
"You know, my dog is "hella gay" and "desperately single" too. I'm bringing in a pal for him in the next few days. Cheer up, fuckass! There's some guy out there for you. I kind of doubt he comes from the second chance shelter though."  
Jade has always been one of his least- and most-favorite customers.

The next few hours pass without much incident. Vriska spills her vanilla chai double shot mocha caramel latte on the napkins as per usual and Karkat runs her out of the shop with a broom. Kanaya calls with the usual management check in- there are only five of them working the whole damn business and Karkat is the one with the least life outside the walls of Kanaya's girlfriend's prisonesque estamblishment. Anonymous instagram girl tropes one, two and three ask Karkat to take a picture of their iced coffee and he reminds them that due to there not being anyone here he didn't feel the need to write their names. They storm out without change and Karkat pockets about five dollars. It's just about closing time when the bells above the door chime shrilly in Karkat's ears. He reminds himself to complain to Rose about that. Among various other things.

"Hey Karkat!" John calls from the counter. Karkat sighs heavily and walks to the front of the store, dragging his feet and clicking the coffee back on. Four minutes to closing and this box of crooked white chiclets decides it's a good time to harass him.  
"Yeah, yeah, John." Karkat mutters, preparing possibly the simplest thing he's ever seen someone pay three bucks for: plain, scalding black coffee. At least the guy's hot; Karkat would probably throw an absolute wobbler over the minor inconveniencing if he didn't think those eyes were so nice to fall into. And that hair- god, he could just-- he coughs and hands John the coffee.  
"Three twenty-two." Karkat thinks for a moment, frowns, and pulls his cash from the back pocket of his too big jeans. He's not been eating too much lately and it's starting to worry his coworkers, but a barista only gets paid so much. He tucks the payment into the register and closes his all-but-empty wallet.  
"Woah man, I think a moth just flew out of that thing," John smirks, his stupid buckteeth overlapping his bottom teeth too cutely for a grown man. "What are you doing?"  
Karkat shoots John a side eye and counts out three bills and a quarter, dropping them into the cash register and closing it. He leans over the counter again, one hand on his chin. His eyelids are only half open, he's so disinterested, and he begins to say something snotty. It's always something snotty.  
"You know what. I read the bulletin board outside, and I have gotta say, man, I never would have thought you were gay." John says, looking lost in thought. Karkat rolls his eyes.  
"And what exactly was supposed to tip-"  
"I have had this for so long. I was going to give it to your manager's sister, but never had the guts." John pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket, crumpled and stained and hardly readable what with all the faded ink. It's been washed at least twice. He hands it to Karkat, who crumples it and tosses it toward the trash can. It misses and John claps sarcastically. Can you clap sarcastically?  
"Yeah whatever. I just bought you a drink, this counts as our first date, I had no clue why you'd wander in here every day for a three dollar cup of black coffee but I figured you must have a crush on someone and Terezi says you never buy anything from her so let's go to the bar next door. Help me close."

Karkat visits the second chance shelter the next morning with a forgotten jacket in tow. John's "Just got ♠" shirt gives him the first laugh of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this two years ago and just found it and what the hell, why not post it. It had some decent lines.


End file.
